Affirmation · “The Subconscious Says Yes”
Metta Phrases
To warm and open the heart by silently repeating well-wishing phrases — first for oneself, then radiating outward to all beings — training friendliness, goodwill, and reduced ill-will as a habitual stance.
Metta (Surya Das) — “WOW: wishing others well”: At the end of meditation, or anytime (car, walking, dishes), silently repeat well-wishing phrases with loving attention. Start with yourself — “May I be happy, content and fulfilled… peaceful, centered and serene… free from harm, danger and fear… patient and loving.” Alternate with “May all beings be happy / be free from fear.” Radiate outward: self → loved ones → neutral → difficult → all beings. Feel each wish; add your own phrases; close by dedicating the goodwill to all.
What it is
Metta (Pali; maitri in Sanskrit) is loving-kindness — friendliness and the sincere wish for beings to be well. Lama Surya Das teaches it as the heart’s most accessible training: silently repeating well-wishing phrases, beginning with yourself and radiating outward to loved ones, neutral people, difficult people, and all beings.
He distills its essence into a memorable formula — “WOW: wishing others well.” Crucially, Surya Das treats the phrase-set as living and personal: he took the classic phrases from the Metta Sutta (the Loving-kindness Scripture) and “added many of his own over the years as they come up for him in his own prayer and chant life,” and he encourages practitioners to do the same.
The phrases function as gentle, repeated suggestions to the heart — closer to affirmation than to analytic thought.
The Method
A faithful outline of Surya Das’s “My Metta Practice” instruction:
- When and where. “Repeat them with loving attention at the conclusion of your daily meditation, or at any time you wish — in your car, walking, washing dishes, making the bed, or anyplace, anytime.” It works as both a formal sit-ending and an informal all-day practice.
- Begin with yourself. Start the wishes self-directed, to warm the heart before turning outward. His actual self-phrases include: - “May I be happy, content and fulfilled.” - “May I experience the joy of mental happiness and the ease of well-being.” - “May I be peaceful, centered and serene.” - “May I be free from suffering and dissatisfaction.” - “May I be free from harm, danger and fear.” - “May I be patient and loving” … “May I be loved and let the love in.” - “May I practice equanimity and non-reactivity.” 3. Repeat with loving attention. Say each phrase slowly and inwardly, feeling its meaning, not racing. Let the wish actually register as warmth, not as rote words.
- Alternate self and all beings. Surya Das’s set alternates self-directed and all-beings-directed wishes — e.g., “May all beings be happy,” *“May all beings be free from harm, danger and fear”* — so the heart widens as you go.
- Radiate outward. Extend the same wishes from yourself → loved ones → neutral people → difficult people → all beings throughout space and time.
- Make it your own. Add or adapt phrases that arise authentically for you (“as they come up for you”); the point is sincere goodwill, not a fixed liturgy.
- Close by dedicating merit — offering the goodwill generated to loved ones and all beings. (Sourcing note: the quoted phrases and the “anyplace, anytime / WOW” framing are Surya Das’s own published metta practice; the self-first, radiating-outward structure is standard metta as he teaches it. Quotations are short and attributed.)
Source & Lineage
Metta is one of the four brahmaviharas (loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, equanimity) taught by the Buddha; the root text is the Metta Sutta. Surya Das presents it for Western lay practitioners in Awakening the Buddhist Heart (2000) and in his published prayers, blending the canonical phrases with his own. → author node.
The same practice is central to the Insight/Vipassana tradition (e.g., Sharon Salzberg’s Lovingkindness) and to secular compassion-cultivation programs.
The Traditions' versions
Classic Theravada metta — four traditional phrases (“May you be happy, healthy, safe, at ease”), self → benefactor → neutral → difficult → all. Surya Das’s set is an expanded, personalized version of this.
- Sharon Salzberg / Insight tradition — phrase-based metta as a core lay practice. → (loving-kindness cross-refs)
- Tonglen — the breath-based compassion cousin; metta wishes well, tonglen exchanges suffering for relief on the breath.
- Autosuggestion / affirmations — structurally similar: repeated, feeling-laden first-person suggestions impressed gently on the mind.,
- Devotional blessing prayers — many traditions repeat well-wishing benedictions for self and others.
Common refinements
Rushing / rote recitation. Phrases said fast and flat don’t land. Slow down; let each wish be felt (“loving attention”).
- Forcing emotion. You don’t need to manufacture floods of love; sincere intention is enough, and feeling follows repetition over time.
- Skipping yourself. Self-metta first warms the heart; jumping straight to a difficult person while cold often fails.
- Treating the phrases as fixed scripture. Surya Das explicitly invites you to personalize — use words that ring true for you.
- Practicing only formally. Its real power is informal repetition through the day (driving, dishes, walking).