stop fear

It is not events that disturb us but our judgments about them. Separate what is in your control from what is not, and the fear loses its grip.

1. Name the fear in one sentence: ‘I am afraid that ___.’
2. Ask: is the thing I fear actually happening right now, or is it a forecast?
3. Sort it into two columns: what I can influence, what I cannot.
4. Choose one small action from the first column and do it today.
5. For the second column, say aloud: ‘This is not mine to carry.’

Fear is a physiological state before it is a thought. Slow the exhale and you signal the nervous system that you are safe, and the mind follows the body down.

1. Sit or stand, feet on the floor.
2. Inhale gently through the nose for a count of
3. Exhale slowly through the nose or mouth for a count of
4. Keep the exhale longer than the inhale for at least 10 rounds.
5. Notice the floor under your feet and three things you can see before you stand up.

What we resist persists. Fear shrinks when it is met with attention and kindness instead of avoidance.

1. Recognize: silently name it, ‘fear is here.’
2. Allow: let it be present without fixing it, just for this moment.
3. Investigate: where do you feel it in the body, and what does it most want you to believe?
4. Nurture: place a hand where you feel it and offer one kind phrase, like ‘It makes sense that this is hard.’
5. Rest in the spaciousness that follows.

The mind moves toward the scene it dwells on. Replace the imagined disaster with the imagined resolution, felt as already true.

1. Tonight, lie down and relax into a drowsy, half-asleep state.
2. Construct a short scene that implies the fear is already resolved (a relieved phone call, a friend congratulating you).
3. Enter the scene from the inside, not as a watcher.
4. Feel the relief as real and repeat the scene until it feels natural.
5. Fall asleep in that feeling.